My Life, My Thoughts

2010-03-07T14:30:00.003+08:00

The thought of the day:-

The word "Anger"

Personally I have a problem controlling my anger especially when it is an argument with my mother. Every single time she scolds me for doing something, I will always find that her scoldings are nonsensical and totally unreasonable. At almost anytime, I can feel my 'inner demon' trying to burst out and take over my body. I had tired to find ways of controlling my anger. So ways consist of:-

1) Counting 1 to 10
2) Taking slow and deep breathe
3) Control, control and control - Dun speak, Dun open my mouth
4) Try to occupy myself in something else.

This is what I would normally do in order to avoid confronting my mother about her nonsensical scoldings. Some of her scolding is due to the fact that she herself did not provide clear information or instructions to complete the job. An example would be that she told my sister to 'unplug' the silicon tube by cutting off the 'extra' part that is poking out from the tube. Base common action and thoughts, one would just cut off the whole 'extra' part. But in actual fact, you have to just remove a small part of the 'extra' part so that an extra cone can be screwed to it, so that the silicone can flow out in a more streamline shape. What my sister did was to cut of the whole 'extra' part. Thus result in a freaking & nonsensical scolding from my mom.

To me that scolding was super nonsensical. If she wanted something to be done right, she should not assume that we know everything, she should have just told us clearly, how much to cut and not to cut. I choose to use method 3 to avoid any argument. She just kept ranting and ranting. I spoke to someone with regards to my form of anger. He told me that what is the point of being angry? Do you benefit for any form of anger or argument. Is there really no point of being angry? Why do we get angry? Do we benefit from getting angry? Why do we get angry?

I wonder that when we get angry and why do we argue? I believe that everyone of us live in a society of known as a culture of pluralism, where everyone are different and has a different set of beliefs and values. We have conflict so as to fight for what we think is right. We put our needs up front and we choose to fight for these needs. Is that being selfish? Does selfishness led to conflict causing anger? If that is the cause... should we be less selfish?

Will there be other ways to control anger? What cause us to be so angry? Can we not be angry?

Angry? Think again...

2010-03-05T22:43:00.002+08:00

The thought of the day:-

The word "Questioning"

Over the week, I am being questioned by someone, and my 'internal demons'. I went through interviews for an internship. Questions are fired at me like a machine gun, and I have to 'block', 'avoid' or get shot right in the forehead. I sometimes find that interview questions are difficult to answer. After interviews, I review the questions and and my answers.

'Is there a much better way to answer?'
'Why did I answer in that way?'
'I should not have answer it that way'
'Omg I will not be able to get the job'
'There will be much better people out there with education from NUS, NTU or even great interest or knowledge than me'
'Omg I am not the only one, there is another girl, she is pretty and slim and does not sweat like a pig - like me'

Seriously, this is a series of thoughts that boils and drills deep down into my brain. I sometime wonder am I really that bad? Is my self confidence and esteem really that low? I sometimes think that I need a 'shrink'. I need someone to really guide me into speaking up and sharing my thoughts with. Others will say, speak to your parent. However, in my family my family 'Chinese' culture, it is somehow impossible. My mom will just keep criticizing me about my fats, my face, my whole body. This form of criticizing and sometimes a light slap on my face seems to be her way of getting me to change my ways but I once again question myself, why, after all this negative actions and words why I don't change. My internal demon told me that 'Your mom is crazy, that is not the way to push you!' I straight away toss myself into the arms of my beloved 'internal demon'.

This led to me questioning myself again. When I look at others, staring at their clothes and mine - with the buttons almost going to pop out. I tuck my hands across it trying to hide it. 'Maybe I should got for breast reduction' - 'Maybe I should go get new clothes?' - 'Maybe I should slim down?' When I am been questioned,I don't know why I cant answer them. Could it be that 'YES' I can answer them but it is too painful or I being too lazy. Cos the outcome of my decision maybe to get on diet or to buy clothes which is either me being lazy or money-less. Sometime decision makes me question myself again, if I were to get clothes, 'How am I going to get more clothes', 'Wont it be expensive?', 'Maybe I slim down I can wear', So if I slim down, then the bigger size clothes will not be suitable', 'Or should I slim down?'
If I were to choose to slim down, I will be asking myself more questions again, 'Where do I start?', ' How should I start?', 'Will I be able to succeed in it.', 'Will it damage my knees?' Are this questions a way to help us decide or a form of excuse?

Is questioning one self or being questioned which leads to questioning oneself a good thing? Will it cos us to be spinning in circles and not do anything? Will we ever get started? Will we be able to settle on one decision? What will drive us towards a goal, criticism, encouragement, guidance or influence? There are also many sub forms of criticism, encouragement, guidance and influence, which will be more effective? How does one identify and connect themselves with?

Why question?

2008-07-27T19:06:00.003+08:00

The SEME or UKE Quiz

You scored as a The Devilish UKE

You are by far the toughest UKE out there and possibly the most insane. Most people call you a smart-ass or a jerk but just because you get them mad at you doesn't mean you want to hurt them. There is something inside of you that hates to hurt people but the excitement is just too good to waste. Some think you're funny and others think you don't know when to quit but then again you don't really give a damn. You are a fan of comedy and comedians but only because they have the same mind that you do and they speak it so easily. If you are such a person then congratulations, the stinging whip of a Homicidal SEME may do you some good and teach you a lesson.. or make you want the punishment even more, whichever works best. Most SEME can't handle you so it's best to not scare them half to death. Most of any other UKE would befriend you in an instant if you would stop pulling tricks on them. To wrap up your description I sha'll say that you can handle anything. Any kink, and position, any ANYTHING. All you really care about is getting the punishment - some may call it masochism but you just call it heaven.
The Devilish UKE
75%
The Breaker SEME
70%
The Sorrowful UKE
60%
The Optimistic UKE
60%
The Gentle SEME
55%
The Homicidal SEME
50%

LOLX! When and took a quiz on SEME and UKE... feeling shy now... lolx

About my life nowadays, just one word to say... it SUCKS! I hate my grp people, omg!HATES!!!!!

2008-06-26T21:05:00.003+08:00

It has been months since i last blogged...

There have been alot of problems... Bought ANI but selling her... yet dun feel like selling her but have to sell her in order to get my 'dream' doll! Lolx

Having stress that cannot cope! I thought was depression.... which is not.... i think...

Project a piling up as usual.... Got an award...make it 2 awards for TEP.

Friends problems again... as usual but watever la i am tired liao... i just need Azi, Neetu and most importantly my family!

I still 'love' Esther alot! Hope to dream about her every night... <--crazy girl

My mother bought a NDS! Fallen into the games... OMG!

I want to get a SD! Dream of Doll Tender E-AN! My baby! Omg! I have to sell ANI! sell her fast fast!

Sometimes i cry for no reason!

When i look at my father, he is like so old liao and i am still so useless.... cant even study and score well...

Look at myself... asking why am i so useless? Can i even get a well paid job?

I love to work at BSU! But the pay is not that good... lolx

Love my BSU (currently at MSC and ELDC) friends (year 2) ... So sweet and nice...

I miss wat had happened in the past, however we cannot go back right?

I have to face wat is ahead of me but i fear of wat is ahead of me...

Going out this saturday with my sister and azi!

I think that that is enough random thoughts! Lolx.... that i basically wat is drifting in my mind for these few days, weeks, months, haven years yet... lolx

Love everyone expect someone who is so dam it whine-y omg i am starting to hate her....! ARH!!! not azi... if anyone want to know email me.^^

2008-05-08T20:07:00.007+08:00

There is a new EVENT AT KKnM ANIME HOUSE! Happie!

Click the banner for more details!

I will go down (if i am free) to SUPPORT THEM! You should too!

Now

About me

I just got my results this early morning, when i say early, i mean VERY EARLY!

I subscribed to the school that i would like to receive my results through sms.

This morning, 6.09 am, the message reached my handphone which was on the table. The sound of vibration woke me up at around 6.20am. (Take note my handphone will vibrate at interval when there is an unread message) I opened my heavy eyelids and tried to lift my lazy hand. The vibration of the handphone is pissing me off. Thus i pull out all my strengthen to reach it and then finally grabbing it. I flipped open my handphone using my lazy thumb. (Note, my phone is a flip phone) I press on the 'ok' button to read the message.

The message read as 'Your exam results are BM 0084 DIST, BM0085 B+, BM0086 B+. For more details...... After a quick scan through, I told myself i must be dreaming... I closed my phone... and continue to sleep. However, i was not able to dream anything, then a thought jerked into my mind, 'if i can't sleep that means it is not a dream'. I quickly open up my eyes and read the message again. I had the shock of my life!

I jumped out of bed, swing open my laptop, sign in to the school website and there it was, my results, my long awaited results, my Distinction! I am so proud of my results! I was not able to sleep after that. I closed my eyes but my mind was in the really awake mode! I am so happy!

My Motivation for TEP!

I had a motivation when I was at TEP! At first, I hated TEP tons and the thought of going to TEP really really depressed me! However after getting to know Esther Ho, she slowly change my TEP days and became my motivation. As you know, I admire her alot and i have been talking to her alot during TEP. Later in ELDC, she was my client for the TEP Awards Day. My group did the MM show for that event and i notice that she was sitting infront at the first row... During the event, I was at the backstage, trying so hard to get a glance of her from behind stage curtains. So I told myself, I WANT to get up to the stage to get an award and that is to only time I will really get to see her smiling at me from her seat.

So I told myself that 'I want to be on that stage that day getting an award, looking down at her to see her smiling back at me!'

That is my motivation!

Here is my results!

I am so happie! I have to go to the dentist... sad... i hate the pain...Wish me luck and pray hard for me!

2008-05-07T21:27:00.008+08:00

Nothing much to say but I would just like to thank god for the day I had and let tml be the same or a better one.

Some pictures I would like to share:

This Morning's Sun from the bus stop outside my house!

While at Class....-_-zzz

The Sun during first lesson break....

Same timing (during break) but at a different angle...

... Half Sun?

At the end of the day, the sun was setting... (after a rain)

NYP life is getting more tense... A Math would be the killer subject... There are tons of project, I need to see the dentist which i hate to do it...T.T EMO EMO!

2008-04-25T23:50:00.003+08:00

Today...
Blog San, Today...

Today I went out with my only friend Azi... Although i have many friends in NYP but I never went out with them. I went PS = Plaze Singapura. I ate KFC, went Spotlight to buy stuff, went Poh Kim, Blue Max, Daiso.... Then went to school although i had no classes... Reached home around 6+.

Is life that boring?

I am just telling....

Let me put in some flesh to this skeleton.

PS waited for Azi, late again... for 15MINS! Notice that i was being 'Norms', in other words, being normal, staring into space, playing NDS... So normal, typical, boring... Saw a Japanese kid ( that is wat i think she is ) was staring at the Japanese restaurant ads, pointing at the ice cream while looking at her mother who was 1.5 meters away from her, trying to ask her to leave the ads alone. Typical... Then Azi came, we went to KFC, ate chicken and u know Singaporeans always follow the 'Guidelines' - e.g chili dispenser = use the small plastic dish to hold ur chili... I was like... so small la... use the paper plate for the chicken to get the chili... = bigger more space for chili and u look stupid holding that small plastic dish with the chili while walking back to ur sit... lolx.

Talked about school poilitics, found out that art student are nice people... Normal poly student = evil, think too much, standard, typical, BORING! Talked about boys when there were 2 guys sitting beside me... lolx... lucky never get beaten up...

After lunch went SpotLight walk around, fooled around... Azi and her hats... kept wanting me to try on hats... dunno wat is wrong with her... lolx Funny tho... Bought a total of 17.40....T.T

Went off after a brisk walk round Poh Kim, Blue Max and Daiso. Took train, reached Yio Chu Kang, body moved by itself. Went to school... wanted to talk to Esther Ho but she was not in, went to find BSU team 2 Supervisiors, both on leave... went outside lecture, played NDS till 4, tried my luck again at Esther Ho's office still no one there... So went to BSU team 2 sat down with them talk about happenings in TEP... Had alot of laughters... Smsed Esther to check if she was in her office.

And Yes she was. Rush down with a smile on my face... so happy! Talked to her about why i chose HRM... talked and talked... so sweet... she looks good... pretty...Lovely! Ah! Heavens!

Around 5.30, she went to fetch her son ETHAN! So cute, but i went off first and walked a differnt path. Took some pictures...

Today

Last day of TEP

2008-04-19T21:56:00.006+08:00

Blog sama...

I have been quite tired these few days... I was down with sore throat on ... i think was Thursday... now down with flu... WTF! I was sick only a few week ago... dam that flu virus! I cannot sleep due to the data work i have to do or should i say did on Friday since Friday is over.

I was not able to sleep! SLEEP! My mind can't seem to rest... When i close my eyes, vivid images of the Excel spread sheet kept screening pass my mind... and i thought that my Excel skills were needed... PLEASE LA it is just keying data la! For goodness sakes, my mom can even do it la! I thought my aunt was like going to ask me to set up a new database for her... with all those formulas... pls la it is just entering the data and her formulas skills for Excel is way better la! I have never even seen those formulas she used la! Angry! Free labour some more! But whatever la, as if a kid like me can say 'CAN'T U ASK SOMEONE ELSE TO DO? DAM IT! EVEN MY MOM CAN DO IT!'

*Note: I am all angry cos of flu, cos of lies, cos of not being able to get into the state of R.E.M = to rapid eye movement. These factors make me very VERY SHORT-TEMPERED!

Oh well, I saw Wai Ling... so pretty! Love Loves! The only happy thing that happened these few days... She saw me and waved at me... hehe happie

Oh about school... although TEP ended, and there are still something not cleaned up but the teacher did not call me haha... but she emailed me... She did not need me to go back to school. Happie but there are some errors which i think she see wrongly, cos she did not call me after i verified with her through the phone... I think she see wrongly lolx... I still kinda miss TEP and Esther Ho... I keep calling her Esther but she wants me to call her Ms Ho, lolx.

Lastly, about the doll hobby i am currently into, the doll that i want to buy have a new version. This new version is the white skin version = to more pale looking.

Pretty right! Love it... but Love the normal skin version more! ANI! I will get it next month!

BYE BYE

PS: I believe i can fall a sleep and enter into my dreamland. I believe i can fall a sleep and enter into my dreamland. I believe i can fall a sleep and enter into my dreamland.*Chanting, chanting* I hate when people lie to me! but i do lie to people lolx, especially to parents... but honestly i am a bad liar... so i seldom lie... Thus i hate people who lie to me! Suckers! If anyone feel offended, i would like to say sorry... forgive me for being such an ass hole!

2008-04-15T16:11:00.007+08:00

Blog san

Today is a boring day again... The pain of saving money is the cause of all this boredom...

What am I saving for?

For a ELuts doll! Kid delf ANI~ Kawaii desu ne?
Here is the picture!=)

My current savings is SGD$ 200, I need to save SGD$ 400 at least!

Shipment?
To Azi - Ai hana's house.

Why?

Cause if I were to ship it to my house, my mother will kill me! And shred me into thousands, millions of pieces.

Why do I want to get a doll so expensive?

I am crazy and weird. Lolx I LOVE BJD! LOVE LOVE! I saw them once at Animehouse and i was like WOW! But dare not ask the owner what it was... up till now...

Why do I want to have one now? and not in the past?

I have angbao money that i dunno where to spend so... BJD sudden just came to mind... lolx dunno how did that thought came to mind... lolx

Now?

Holidays... trying very hard not to go out... need to buy [Animage] Magazine but must control! Arh!

I am selling some stuff on SgCafe support me !

At Support Fumiyo!~ Clicky me

2008-04-11T22:34:00.005+08:00

Hi blog it has been a month. Now it is the end of TEP.

I will miss TEP, friends (at TEP other than Zhong huan...) I kinda like TEP, dun feel like going back to studies... But i have been quite "weak" for the past few weeks in TEP... Kept having flue and sore throat... I love the "work stress" at TEP.

I will miss Esther Ho alot! Oh My God... Love Love... Love to talk to her and to see her smile is enough to make my happy and all "high" the whole day!

Back to TEP... I have been quite tired doing SOOOOO~ many things for the past 18 weeks especially in the last 9 weeks! OMG i going to die... In BSU, life is not only tiring, it is terrifying,tedious and i would like to say kinda "cursed". Basically, We had to do data entry, and everyone should know that there will always be "human error". The data can never be 100% correct... So the more the teachers ask and demanded (e.g more charts and breakdowns) the more errors "popped" out. I am tired, I think in the whole of BSU team 2, the only one that knows most about the data would be me. It is not that i am boastful or what, it is like i have been hugging my laptop, hogging on the data and thumb drive, doing "OTs" at HOME! For goodness sake! What the hell am I doing? Is it for marks? Is it to "suck" up on teachers? Is it Responsibility? Is it a must doing thing? Can't i just let some else do it? Why must it be me? I think maybe I am a Virgo that is why... perfectionist... I want the data to be correct at least in my eyes! I am getting crazy...

In TEP, I had also found out that i kinda hate the whole world. OMG! WTF! I mean, i was not able to delegate the tasks out properly, no one wants to listen. People unwilling to do work. I mean dammit la, u people are killing me! Here I stabbing myself with the blunt edged data and there u sprinkle salt onto my wound... I am so unhappy and disappointed...

Yet we had happy moments, Laugh and laugh, but i just hate people who keep on KEEP ON say " I am fat, fat, fat" Do u know I can hear it... Dam it la I know u are fat but actually u are not, ur clothes are making u look fat, dammit... I just dun want to say much... Flumes Flumes Flumes.....!

BSU is a hard live, hard live, barely have time... And now do u think i should go back after my TEP ended... the data is not well cleaned... Do think i should go back to help them? I fear that there will be more errors... I am scared! Scared that there will be more work to do and OMG .... the more i think the more errors or should i say "untidy" work "popping" out again... What should i do! ARH!!!

Today, I had a bad day.. a VERY VERY BAD feeling, I dunno why... why on the last day i felt fear towards Jennifer Tan, our teacher - supervisor... A weird feeling... Was she too nice today? or too scary? I cannot differentiate... When she smiled at me a chill went down my spine... Am I myself today...? When i looked at her fear just arouse... Weird!

RAGE! ANGER! MAD! WEIRD! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT THE F**KING HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!

*If I offended anyone, I would like to say Sorry... but it is honest words from my heart!

PS: Need counselling!

2008-02-28T10:55:00.003+08:00

BSU is also known as Business Services Unit. It is a place / stopover where we are divided into smaller teams of 12 or 8. I am in team 2 which consist of 12 people but with a recent broke up of team 3, there is an additional of 3 members. We are bonding and having fun....

In BSU, life gets more stress and busy... Now on hand is a Cisco Project and i have to edit the data, there are like 1000 over data and 50 to 65 question for these data... It is a tedious job and i am doing it with 2 other team mates. It is a hand over project from the previous team, so we have to clean up what they have left behind. It is quite sickening as there are many errors, mainly linking error which suck like hell la... It is too long to explain... I have to stare at the pc for the whole day since Monday started... my eyes are tired. Plus, we have to do analysis, and the analysis is dependent on the data. I have to make sure that there is no errors.... 100% clean from errors! I get scolded / shouted at because i did not do a good job at spotting the error within the data. Sad... but i mean i am to be blame for not checking it properly... feel so bad...

Now i am drawing another picture of Esther, but have not decide to use what kind of medium. Should i use painting? or shading? Painting has a big problem, cos in the picture, she is wearing sun glasses and i still want to draw the eyes, but painting over it would cause it to smudge. I was thinking of using acrylic paint cause my friend tell me that acrylic paint can be painted over without smudging the painting. Follow by shading. i scare that i cannot finish my art piece on time and shading it a very tedious thing and irrating... lazy to explain... Anyone got comments?

Lastly, i am BSU right now... and the supervisior are walking around so, bye bye...

PS: Life sucks but i believe it is still great as there are fun moment which i would like to experience in the future... HI 5!

2008-02-15T21:08:00.004+08:00

Valentines....

Love is totally not in the air... for me la. But i still decided to buy roses for my friends. I bought 3 stalks and it cost me $9 haha which is cheaper but the roses are not that nice... I gave one to Yen Ling who is my TEP friend and bomberman buddy. I wanted to give Joe but i scare he 'recycle' it and give it to his girlfriend so i in the end i sold it to him at $4... lolx.

The third stalk i gave it to someone special someone who can make me smile the whole day, and it is Ms Esther Ho. I went to give her the rose during lunchbreak - after my lunch, normally she wont be in cos she is either away for meeting or went jogging at the gym(one thing still puzzles me, does she even eat lunch?). I purposely place the rose at her door, on the handle... and sneak off. haha It was fun <-- crazy. After that, i went back to class and slept till 3, went to pass the rose to yen ling cos could not find her at her place during lunch time. Gave the rose to her... i am so nice... Want to give joe but hesitated lolx... Then went to find Esther, and the rose at her door was gone. Arh, 'did someone took it away, steal it?' The i looked into her room and saw it was on the table. I was so happy and relieved.

Talk to her and asked her about stuff. Then she say.. 'look someone gave me flowers!' i was like laugh in my mind, but smiled on my face... lolx 'i gave it to u la' i thought. She was like saying ' it could be some student who admire her and gave it to her or even a secret lover within campus' lolx... 'it is me la' i thought... Then i asked her if her husband gave her flowers? She say no as her husband would rather give her the money cos it is more.... erm... i dunno how to translate... For example, the money for the flowers can be use to buy jewelry and gems, etc... which is much more worth it than flowers... That is the best i can explain base on my own understanding. She then say 'maybe the rose is given by the school as a form a appreciation for the her hardwork'. Then suddenly she notice the paper bag i was holding ( the stalk of rose which i wanted to give joe was inside ). I was like 'oh no' she want to see wat was inside but i told her it was bak kwa lolx cos the bag is a fragrance bag... and she was like oh ok... then i quick turn the topic away... lucky me. I love it when she was waving the rose and say 'look someone gave me flowers'.

Oh ya see that character design on the right, the latest one, the one with a girl holding a cup, smilling, on a yellow background, that is Esther. I drew it for her. Gave it to her today. She was so happy! I am even happier! Love her when she smiles... But i miss that drawing... It is the first time i gave my best artwork to someone for free... But it is worth it cos i love to see her smile... her smile make me 'high' all day long... haha <-- like drug hor. Then again she say 'yesterday someone gave me flowers', and then she was wondering again who gave her. Then i say ' me lor'. She was like shock la... and i was like laughing. She was like are u sure, are u sure... and I was like ya, ya, ya. Haha. Everytime i recall back i a smile will be drawn across my face... it is better than eating choco, or even drugs... HAHA i am crazy la... like aunties... I am just like that...

There are two pictures this time around the first one is:

Paining and got 'snapped' by sister. (note: towel is on my head)

The flowers that my daddy bought for my mother! Expensive!

Thanks!

PS: Love everything and everyone i thinks. Most of all Esther, Yen Ling and joe!

2008-02-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

It is the year of the Rat! I like white rats, skinny ones. In this year, life will be great that is wat i believe! Life will be great, yea life WILL be great. (*Praying hard*) I am now stuck in BSU, it is a place where we 'act' as a consultant, helping client do and analyze survey. I just wish that this 9 weeks will pass very very very very fast!

Now, since CNY just passed not long ago, i will point out some of the things i did during CNY. The day before CNY, which is the eve, we had reunion dinner at my aunt's house. She struck 4D so treat us over to her place for dinner. She is my father's sister, actually we are not suppose to eat with the sister's side cos it is a tradition. But i dunno why sudden they want to do that la.... Maybe cheap stake? But watever as long as there is food, it is fine with me. We had dinner at a coffee shop under my aunt's house. I did not like the environment there, 'low-class'? I dunno. It is better not to make to many comments.

Next will be the first day of CNY, woke up at 9, had breakfast the first angbao was from my parents. It was $100 bucks. I am so happy haha... Then my cousins came to my house and we play cards stuff. After that we went to my uncle house. That is all for the first day. The second day, went to my aunt house, a 2 room flat... or 3 i dunno. it is just small la and hot lor. Pissed! At the end of day 2, i recieved all my angbao and the total was $332 includive of my parents' ang bao.

On the third day of CNY i went to my lecturer's place, Esther's house. First, we took the bus 72 to her house and i counted that there is 12 bustops, but i think there was some error in my maths. We over shot by 3 bustops... haha. We got to cross the road and take the bus back 3 stops. I wore a pair of shoes that caused blisers. It is like so dam it painful la. A total of 3 blisters, 2 on the right and 1 on the left. On speacking of Esther's house, it is normal lor, it has custom made wooden tables and chair a two or three seater sofa and a plasma TV. I love her toilet cos it is blue. Then her son is so cute. We had so food over there and she offered us beer. I drank beer on an empty stomach. My face turned red... lolx... Then after the beer we had rum i think she mixed it with orange juice. It taste sour and bitter, weird... But i still finish it. We talk about school life and stuff. I wish to go her house again soon. Haha

In the end, CNY is the season of joy and money. Total, $358 of money recieved for CNY not bad. Hahaha.

PS: I believe life is GREAT! And for the next 9 weeks, it will pass by very fast. Love myself, family and friends. Meeting up with Azi this Saturday! Eating Sushi! WOW! Can't Wait!

2008-01-13T22:54:00.000+08:00

Thoughts, dreams, ambition, goals.... all these are what i call non physical objects that keeps swirling in every ones mind. I believe that about 50% of those things are secrets and only 25% out of the leftover of 50% are convert into words, which is use to express one self. All this mind objects, helps shape us for what we are right now. Your thoughts allows u to plan what u want to do, dreams are thing that u wish it would happen by itself, ambition is what u want to have or be and goals are what u want to reach for. Everyone has different range of thoughts, dreams, ambition and goals. Thus making us, smart, stupid, act cute, crazy.... and many more. I was thinking why can't we think the same... or read others mind? Maybe i am just too frustrated this few days because of my parents. Sometimes life sucks with them around but without them i will not be able to live till this everyday... So it is better to be happy with what i have now then complain. lolx...

I am a person who socialize when needed and when possible... But deep down i am some how crazy...I kinda like old women... only old women, not old men. I dunno why... i just dunno why... I like, i think more of like like kind of like. Especially, those who treat me nice and stuff. Firstly, i like my Chinese teacher in sec school... followed by wai ling from the office, then now another teacher from my Poly... I dunno what is wrong with me... Sometimes i will think out some reasons for my liking towards them... I have thought of one which i think is the best of all the reasons i have thought of.... I like like women around the age of 30+ to 40+ or more, is because they are nice to me, too nice... sometimes i feel that they are even nicer than my mother. Maybe cause they had good education and thus understand youngster more. Sometimes i wish one of them can be my mother... which is like not possible la... This is my dream, my dream of changing parents.

My goals, is to finish TEP ASAP, I HATE a guy in my group (hope he does not get to read this) He is so irritating, slow learner, childish for a 24 years old guy... i just cannot stand him. For more inside story about him, ask me personally. I dunno want to put anything about him on the blog. I want to get A for TEP! crazy...

My ambition, is to be a teacher? i think... that is my mom's ambition for me... I think i would like to be an accounting teacher in sec schools. I love POA.... I dunno I want in life and where i want to head to... isnt it like so sad... So my final thoughts for today is to break free and find a path that has my name on it!

PS: Love myself, money, anime collection, my cousin(san san jie jie), my poly teachers. Dislike my family(for about 2 days). Hate the guy in my group.

Thanks for reading. Bye bye

2008-01-01T10:53:00.000+08:00

It is the New Year, 2008.

In this new year, i wish to ....erm.... get a lot of thing done... such as, getting TEP done and over with, and be able to draw better - way better than my current skills, get rich - muahaha - cos i want a NDS! Maybe to also slim down, haha.

Then for the year 2007, i think there are some bad things that i found out in our family but i mean it is a form of human behavior so i think it is okay... I think i am someone who is just plain hack care kind of people, as long as u dun touch me, i wont touch u. Oh, i found out that i dun not trust people... oh my god... example, my lecturers told us to study these few chapters but i just study everything... lolx cos i dun believe what they say and i am afraid that they are trying to trick me. A little stupid right... lolx. So the word trust is in the last page of my dictionary.

Oh in the year 2007, i received very few birthday presents, the reasons are, firstly i fall out with azi then got together... i dun remember when, i felt like we are like bf & gf, fall in and out... lolx so i decided that it is not nice to receive presents from her, so i told her that we dun need to buy each other birthday present for this year. Haha. Next reason is that i dun not have much close friend, only friends kind of friends, so no present. I think i have receive 3 presents in 2007, one from neetu, one from my sister and one from my cousin ( san san jie jie ) I love all of them, especially my cousin's one. I am a greedy girl. HAHA. That is fine with me haha. 3 presents are better then non.

Oh yea, i think i had feel in love in 2007 with a guy in my class name Kenneth. (i think his name is spelled like that) Although he is short and does not have a good face complexion but he is nice. Whatever la. He is over, i mean he is history, although i still like him about 20%. So in the year 2008, i must forget about him and reduce the Love-o-meter to 0.00000000000000000000000000~01%, oh that 0.0~01% is for friendship. Then i want to slim down in 2008... i hope i can do it... then in the year 2009 to find a boyfriend. Cos i am already 21 years old in 2009... I dun want to be an old hag...

Then there is school, trying to be a nice girl. But i felt that i am being a little leader, bad leader, like the first emperor of China. Oh yea, get to know a new friend name Yen Ling but just friends only haha! I get to meet alot of new people, such as yann, raj, Terence and some people whom i dun really want to talk about. I am such a bad girl.

Oh do u think this post a too long? I think so too. May i should say...

To be continue in the next post!

Happy New Year, May Chinese New year come by faster!

Signing off
Fumiyo

PS: I LOVE myself, family, drawing, anime stuff and most of all my birthday and xmas presents that i received in 2007!

2007-12-25T17:12:00.000+08:00

Hi blog,

Long time no see ya, so sorry. This few month a little busy and lazy haha. School had start long ago i think about 2 weeks ago. Currently is the third week of TEP which is like so boring la... I feel like we are being USED in the name of the school. But nvm I can get along with the class, i am a good girl but there is a guy that i hate ALOT! Arh! But whatever la...

Oh ya today is XMAS! So I got no school! My cousin got me a lacus figurine which i wanted on my birthday. Haha! So happy and love my cousin! My another cousin got me body shop stuff, cool right. Finally get to use body shop stuff! I had never used body shop stuff... sad right haha... I am poor mah. Yesterday, was Xmas eve right, so we had nabe (steamboat) for dinner. After dinner, we had chocolate, ham and log cake. The opening of presents came after dinner, before chocolate, ham and log cake. I am so dam it happy la! Got Lacus! Lacus! Lacus! I am crazy...

Oh speaking about Lacus, i think i am going to stop on lacus, not really stop cos there are no new figurines of lacus for me go crazy for... ( there is one set tho that i want... which cost about $52, most likely after Chinses New Year ) I really really REALLY hope that megahouse will make a Teresa Figurine, Teresa from Claymore! Oh my god i will fly down and preorder from Anime house la... provided i am free... Right now, I am into big big figurines those that are like 20cm ++ in height.... Dunno why, just like those i guess.

I have not been drawing lately so there will be no character designs to be updated no sooner than i think.... next year March.... But i will be continuing my Manga "Cursed". I think no one even want to read lolx... But i like to draw, so i dun care haha! Oh i won something from Freshmode Mag but i have to go down to loyang to get it.... and that place is not near to MRT lor! ....Dunno wat to do...

I got to go buy food, my mother do not cook... so sian... i wish she can like cook and wash the dishes after she cook... Haha I hate to wash the dishes...

Byebye

I am a lucky Girl!

PS: LOVE MY FAMILY, MY DRAWINGS, MY COLLECTIONS AND MYSELF.

2007-11-01T20:28:00.001+08:00

Hi there reader (i think there are some out there...)

Remember the weddings i had to attend last week? Well~ here are some photos of the first and the best wedding i had even been to. Haha, see if u can spot me.

Box for Red Packets

My father and mother!

My 2nd uncle and aunt.

My 3rd uncle and aunt

The table for the wedding thingy

Here comes the groom and bride!

It is time to exchange the rings!

Exchanges of vows

I promise.... no is 'they' haha

Here is ur marriage cert....

Kisses! So sweet!

Family photo.. but where is my dad?

Can u spot me? hehe

The dinner grand ball room entrance, the box is so cute!

The grand ball room's stage.

One of the rooms deco! Those are real roses!

Lovely couple, cut cake ceremony but the cake is fake! lolx

The first dish!

In their hotel room.

In the arms of her love one... so sweet!

So nice! Beautiful bride!

WOW! So great! The groom carried up the bride!

Complementary food!

Nice bed!

Ready to enter the Grand Ball room!

In the lift. Nice pose.

Overall sweet couple!

This is all the pictures i have with me. For ur info the wedding is held at Marriot hotel! I had a great time there haha.

I am having holis next week! Yea! But got lots of project, actually only 2 la haha. I had just posted a painting, nice right! Haha

P.S: Love my family, friends, drawing, anime collection and life. I hate school... have to work! So sian!

2007-10-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hello my dear blog,

Today 20th October 2007, marks the day which my cousin got married to the man she loves. I wish i can fall in love too. Haha i am too fat to be able to fall in love lolx <-- being emo... Love is so sweet and stuff. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, flowers, i love roses! Hope a guy can give it to me one day and i think i my heart will melt after a few second of shock. Lolx

Today got to wake up quite early... at around 6.30 am... We went out of the house at 7.00am, do note that i dun bathe haha cos i will shiver and my teeth with chatter (i think it is spell this way). When we reach there, the bride was putting on makeup and was still in home clothes so i went to eat some cakes haha <-- greedy girl. Nice cakes anyway. about 7.30 or so, the bride came out, i was like WOW! WOW! WOW! she was like SO gorgeous! She is so beautiful that i was like is that my cousin? are u sure she is my cosuin? WOW! Her gown is so nice lor... she has a nice figure not anything like mine haha... Then around 8.15am, everyone can say, here come the groom, here comes the groom. We locked the gate and hide in the rooms. When my parents say we can come out, i stepped out and saw a guy, i was like 'he cut his hair meh? look so different...' then the bridesmaid was like talking to someone beside that guy and i was like OH....! The groom is on the other side. Lolx.... Moreover, all this time, my sister was videoing the wrong person.... double lolx

The wedding lunch was held at Marriott hotel. Nice hotel. I love the walls cos it is all cushioned in red. So if u get thrown into the wall, u will feel comfort instead of pain. I wore a black dress, very nice <-- this girl high liao. The setting is great too, with roses and lights shining on each table. We got to sit infront. The food was ok la, nice lor except the dessert (i think i spell correctly) I dun like red bean soup... The bride is still so beautiful, I wish that i can get married too. So loving and sweet. My feet were so sore through out the whole lunch. pain! Pain! PAIN! Alot of photos were taken but i did not take any cos my phone dun have camera. Shocked right... Sad... but nevermind haha.

Very tired today want to sleep liao... Oh tml going kino with my cousins cos got 20% off! MUAHAHAHAHA! Can buy many magazines! Love myself!

P.S: Love my family, friends, drawing, anime collection and life. I hate my cousin the girl whom i mention in the previous post. School is boring... Sleepy

2007-10-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

Nighty Blog san...

It has been about 2 weeks since my last post, i think. Vacation is over, and school is starting. I am so sad that i got into group C for TEP! I want group A! I want to work first then study... Whatever la, just get it done and over with it. I hate to work, lolx.

For the past 4 days, I went to Genting Highlands, omg it was terrible! I could not even get a single good night rest! I got to share beds with my cousin, that is fine with me. The worst is that she does not sleep properly... Her bottom can shoot out into ur back in the middle of the night and sometimes she will bury her head behind ur back! She does not snore so not too bad. But she gave me sleepless nights and i want to complain! Moreover, she has that dam BAD ASS attitude which is worst than her mother! I mean come on, the trip ur parent did not pay for it or even much of it and plus she has sleeping disorder.

When people tease her or scold her (not in a bad tone) she will just give u that face like she is not at fault. I mean if u have sleeping disorder , e.g u toss and turn, swing ur hands and legs while u sleep. Won't u feel bad or guilty when u sleep with other causing them to have sleepless nights. I mean i will lor but i dun have sleeping disorders! I am normal! I can sleep a single bed without falling or dropping my pillows, blanket and huggys <-- thing to hug) On the last night i cannot take it, i decided to move to the top mattress on to the floor and sleep on the hard bottom part of the bed. I try to be nice but that girl gave the PISSED of face when my mother told her. 'Hey u did not pay much for the trip, so u should sleep the hard part' I agreed but i know that girl will be dam it pissed la AND i am right! Her lips were poking out, eyebrows knotted together and start to mumble to herself. Dam it bad ass right.

U try not to talk bad about her lor cos she is a dam it perfectionist! She cannot cancel her answer using pen must use correction tape...She cannot skip to the next question when she cannot do the particular question, she must finish it... She must win u in a game of bowling if not she will be mad at u or even blame the ball or the shoes... I mean please la stop all this stupid act and just dont be perfect la. Wat is so big deal about being perfect when ur attitude suck! She is a nice person to play with compared to her sister but her attitude will turn u off lor. But watever, i mean it is over already right. lolx I still want to complain!

It was a Saturday, i was still at Genting leaving the hotel (checked out),heading towards the first world hotel to eat lunch, as i was going down the escalator, i heard my mother talking loudly as usual. Then i heard 'Wai Ling', I was like why are they talking about her? All of a sudden, a very long train of thoughts ran through my mind as a shiver went down my spine. Was my cover blown away? Did my mother found out that i went lunch with her? What should i say? What should i do? When i reach the end of the escalator, my aunt ask me to stop. Oh no! I am going to be dead meat one piece! Arh! but i still have to stop. Then she told me to wait and i look at the escalator and saw my mother, she was smiling and pointing at something or someone above. In pink T-shirt and a white jacket over her shoulders, i was SHOCKED to see. It was her, the person whom i love to talk to the most, Wai Ling! She smiled and waved to us as she descend down from the escalator like an angel (to me la) Haha! I was so dam shock la! All i did was waved at her and smile like an idiot! LOLX I was so happy, OVER THE MOON and stuff... She touch me on my shoulder and i felt blessed! Crazy right, u would think i am a les but i am not. I just like her a lot lor.

I think that is all about the Genting trip other then the food we ate were great and my cousin's cousin vomited and my sister fell ill. It was a good trip... haha But i still hate the bus. Long journey suck! I bought magazines, earrings, bangles, and food! Did not spend much... haha... I am back in Singapore still pissed with that girl but i think after i complaining, things will be better. haha

Good night and thanks for reading my post!

P.S: Love my family, friends, drawings and belongings! Want to strive for better results! Good luck to me!

2007-09-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

Hello Blog...

Today is a special day cos it is 7 days after my birthday! Happy belated birthday to me! Got a Lacus Superior voice-I-doll and a luna one too from my cuz, as birthday present so happy! Love her lots!

Oh I am getting fatty-ier! I eat too much i think... cos holiday mah and very lazy to exercise. I hate to sweat... haha. School is going to start soon... So sad. But wat ever la, I am just looking forward to next year's Chinese New Year! When it is here mean TEP is over! Yea! (I think)

My cuz lend me her NDS so cool. I play naruto, trauma center, pokemon, super mario... more to come but a little tired cos play for long hours haha. I have not been playing my pc games cos NDS is packed with more fun. I have been drawing too. Started on 'Cursed' cos got no inspiration on character design. Speaking of designing, Jannah asked me to help her design a T-shirt. I was like har?! U sure u want me to design... haha but in the end i finished la. It almost killed me. The deadline was 2 days to come up with 2 designs! My attitude was so bad on both days haha... Stress? I think so...

I change me hair style! I think that it is nice la but very troublesome leh... cannot wash my hair for 3 days! Can only do that on Monday T.T i am going to smell bad... My new hair style make my face look fat... cos my face is really fat HAHA! Watever.

Oh yea! My dog is sick... yesterday, was like coughing and coughing... cough like got asthma like that... so scary. My cuz bought it to the vet cos he small size so can drive it in the car. I thought he got the heart worm... but it turn out to be just cough and flu. Lolx. Right now still coughing, haha.

Talk too much liao bai bai. Tired liao, want to sleep...

P.S: Love everyone who love me - provided i love them too. I fall out of love with ken haha, good thing. I love my drawings, figurines, one self, friends, stuff and family!

2007-09-21T16:11:00.000+08:00

Honi Honi Bl..og...gy kun,

Today is my birthday! Yippe! Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday tooooooo~ ME! I bought a Black Forest Cake not very nice looking haha. Last min buy one lor. Currently not more then 10 people wish me Happy Birthday.... So sad right.... I want more wishes <-- (greedy girl) Right now, while i am typing this post, my stomach is aching up. I have not visit the toilet for i think 2 to 3 days liao... I want to visit the toilet but my butt does not want to let it out... Idiot right!?

Currently, i only recieved one present from Neetu T.T So sad right... I hope i can have more presents... I feel so sleepy... Not being able to sleep well this few days... I managed to pre-order the Claymore calender. I hope it will be nice...

Lately have not been playing Maple Story cos i little sian. My lvl is still 58... I have been playing The Sims 2, trying to get twins but cannot leh... I think i will try again... haha...

I think that is all i am going to type haha... go play Sims liao. Bai Bai!

P.S: Happy Birthday to everyone today! I love my drawings, my anime stuff, my laptop, my life and many more. I wish i can have more presents...T.T Love my friends who love me too!

2007-09-14T16:18:00.000+08:00

Yoz bloggy,

It is the holidays... funny but a little boring tho... I wish i got a job... HAHA like real! I had been playing Maple story non stop from lvl 53 to now lvl 58. Power right?! Fun but a little irritated by some of the players, either they are just lazy or cos they are 'smugglers' so they are proud! I hate those players la... Nvm I can lvl up can liao, haha.

I want to continue my story "Cursed" but can't seem to get the hands and body right... So sian lor... Now designing the guy main character... I drew the sport shoes one big and one small! Arh! I think i can only draw anime characters up close... I am such a bad artist... I want to draw nicer! I wish a magic pen or pencil can fall from the sky...

7 more days to the preview of......................... my birthday! My birthday is on the 21 Sept. Anyone buying me birthday presents? I want... want... alot of things... can anyone satisfy my wants? I doubt so... so sad... T.T. The only birthday present i got, is from Neetu my NYP friend, no more other presents liao... I wish i can like have a credit (not under my name) so i can buy tons of things from Japan! WOW! Crazy... think too much... I wish someone can bring me out for lunch and dinner on my birthday...

My results suck! Theory topics like marketing, human resource, biz law all C+. I think it is a curse that i cannot get B... Even since year one, my marketing and management ALWAYS ALWAYS get C... Idiot! Then my Biz fin... Blur blur got B haha... I really did not understand wat the teacher was talking (cos never even listen) I am cool with biz fin. Come to ICT, DAM **** i got a C! dam lor i never get C for technology stuff. I always get B one lor. Idiot ***** dragged the whole group down lor! Nvm. Efma! the topic that i hate most... got C lucky me! I thought i was going to fail haha! Lastly, my elective, Japanese, the topic that i can be proud of! I got a distinction! WOW! i am so happy (some how expected) haha! So overall my GPA droped again.... got no face to post it here... T.T

Ok got to go liao so sian, sick and cannot sleep well...

P.S: I want to draw better, way better! Currently, i just wish to be healthy... Flu be gone! Oh god, pls bless me and my family members, let there be no sickness and problems. Love my friends.

2007-09-02T18:20:00.000+08:00

Hi blog,

I am so tired cos my period is here... Painful cramps hit my at night. I was not able to sleep well... The pain is still throbbing lor...

Yesterday i went to watch Ratatouille with my family and cousins. A very nice show, touched by it. Out of 5 stars i give 4 stars! Very nice movie, serious! I love the only female character(in the kitchen) in the show. Her name is Colette Tatou. She is a tough woman who in the end fall in love with Alfredo Linguini (the main character). So sweet! I wish something like that can happen to me... I wish ... <--dreaming... Back to the real world, the story is a nice one but a little disgusting yet funny... Haha

This is Colette Tatou.

I have not been watching animes lately cos watch Jap dramas on cruchyroll. Watch Shomuni! So old right but i love Tsuboi! I love tough women! Dunno why... haha Just love them!

PS: Nothing to say, too tired... Love my drawings...

2007-08-29T17:50:00.000+08:00

Morning bloggy kun~...

After the exams, I have nothing to do expect draw, sleep, eat, surf, play and watch. I am not looking for jobs... so bad right. I mean who wants to employ me who can work for only 1 month at most?

Currently, painting a new drawing of mine. about 40% done... painting is SO boring but fun... How can something be boring and fun at the same time? I think it is because painting is time consuming but the process is fun.. My NAFA friends say that painting is irritating. Haha but it is still fun mah!

I went to the Chara fest on 25/08 so boring lor... haha bought nothing from the 'special' list but bought old stocks instead lolz! Cant get my prize cos too many ppl. Maybe going down on sat 1st of sept to get it... Hope it is something nice. Haha!

I just finished a coloured drawing and posted it on the right. Nice right, I spend alot of time and energy to colour it and i mean it! Energy! Force! cos the paper just won't 'catch' the colour... But nvm it is already done haha! Nice right i love it!

After exams there are class outings. I have recieved 2 invitations which i think it is badly commmunicated and no information. Firstly, it is the NYP class outing. It was on a monday, 27/08. I ask my friends but they are not going. Then i ask my other classmates, they dunno that there was an outing... bad communication system...

Secondly was the secondary school outing at sentosa... next friday 7/09 from 9am to 7pm. Who in the hell will go to sentosa at 9am? I can't even wake up at 9... The train to sentosa is like dam is long and boring lor... Lolx. From 9am to 7pm, do wat? Info not given, just say that there is an outing and the organizer is excited about the outing, pls la, so wat if he is excited or not. I go for the sake of the events not to see his excited face... lolx. Nothing is said altough the number of the organizer is given, i doubt he knows wat he is doing anyway... Haha
No offence but this is how i feel... personal thoguhts only. If offended sorry...

I am hungry liao! Bye people!

P.S: I love my drawings. I love my friends. Try to understand that if i cannot go out dun act so pity like that... be independent la. I am a promise breaker... so sad. I love my dogs muahaha! SO cute!

2007-08-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

Exams! are over!

OH HI LUCKY! Fumiyo desu!

The EXAMS are over! Sound the alarm! On the PC! Log in to Maple! Holiday mode ON! I am happy, so happy that the exams are over! But i am scared! I scare that my EFMA will fail! Ah! I made a careless mistake! Ah! I hope i can get a D just a D can liao
! God pls help me!

I am going to continue my drawings and my story Cursed! I hope i can draw better haha. Just now, started on a character design. I have noticed that i cannot draw guys! I dunno why leh... I can't seem to draw the hair style... I think i should do some research on male hair style... Should i like do painting or colouring? Speaking of colouring, I would like to say A BIG THANKS to my friend Neetu! She bought me 2 sets of colour pencils as my birthday present! Although my birthday is like 21 sept... Thanks! Neetu! Love you!

About the Chara Feast, not much things to buy, a little disappointed but happy cos dun need to spend so much money. Haha! Going out with my friends on saturday! Hope i can get the merchandises i want.

Good luck to those who are still studying for the upcoming test. Jia You! You can do it!

P.S: Love Stacie, Neetu, Aisyah, Minchoo, Jannah and Azi! Like my classmate except for 5 people. I love my drawings! I hope to get more birthday presents! I wish for a DS Lite! I REALLY hope i can at least pass EFMA!

Good nite

Fumiyo signing off!

2007-08-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

Hi dairy! (exam stress!)

This is a quick post cos i have to study for my exams! Just to inform readers that I will not be posting anything on my blog for this 2 weeks. I got exams to study. T.T
Sad right but got no choice. Wish me luck ok?

Btw after the exams which is next week i am going to anime house's chara feast! It is a must for all Otaku to go there! It is on the 25th August! A Saturday! Haha!

Must go!

PS: I wish I can buy a DS lite! I wish that the person whom i love can love me too. I wish to be friends with choo choo again. I want and must score well in exams for efma and biz law! Jia You! Fight oh!

2007-08-08T17:27:00.000+08:00

Hi... dairy...

I think, I am going to die soon... Today so tired... I wish time could freeze so i can take a short nap... As time ticks pass, my eyes feel so heavy, my legs are wobbly, my hands are numb (not totally). Even my laughter is not bubbly... ha...ha... (dry laugh) I am so tired! I got exams next week! Shock right! The shock is like "zap" Exams! ARH! I am so tired...

Poly friends are all broken up. I feel so sad and angry. I love the lively and hug-able Min Choo.. I love Neetu but i cannot hang out with Min Choo any more cos she is with another group of people whom i dun really like especial one of them. Cos she cause me to have a lot of headaches over projects. I just hate her to the CORE! Never mind la At least can see Min Choo laughing loudly and smile almost all the time. It is fine with me but the unhappiness is still there la... I hope they can patch up!

I think i still like that someone. Although he is just a little taller than me, weird hair style and bad in his words, he is nice. I know that it is not possible cos he is already someone else's but the feeling is still there. I try to avoid him and my reason is cos he is not in my 'dictionary' but it seems to draws attention. He says 'hi-s'and 'bye-s' and i just walk away lor but every time when he walks pass me i can feel my heart pump faster and my body start to feel hot lor... Sick right? Is there anyway to stop that feeling by extract is from my heart or mind? Why do i have that kind of feeling? Love? I hope not...

PS: Happy belated birthday to my Friends! Neetu and Jannah. Love u guys and everyone who knows me. Hope that someone can help me in solving the problems I am facing. I love my drawings and i hate exams & TEP!

2007-08-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

Yoz! Fumiyo is back in the blog!

Since projects and ICAs are over, i decide to post a new post. It has been a long time since i posted anything. School is so stressful! Studies and Friends are getting to the core of my brain! Studies, dunno what i am studying... Friends, i feel like i have been sandwiched. T.T Die liao... Least not care about school first, cos it is a long story... I will post it another time.

Come, shift your focus on me!

Long Long ago, i promised to show pictures of my room right and now i shall fulfil what i said! Aren't u happy? Excited?

The Grand Entrance. A pinch of Japanese style, the thing i hang over the door. Haha

Wow! This is the shelf i dedicate my anime stuff! Otaku section!

My Table. I love to wrap my table! Put posters and many things la. Changing soon.

My bed. So small right T.T but i love it.

My figurines! Most of them are Lacus and Meer!

My figurines! At another angle.

I have a toilet but u won't want to see it haha. The mirror got stains that cannot be remove lor so sad. Remember to take a look at my latest drawing! I posted it on the right side of the blog... SO NICE! Haha! Maybe next time i will snap some pictures of the view outside my house, plus my 7 dogs!

Till next time! Bye-Bee

P.S : I love my room! I love my friends but yet something ba happened today. I feel so in the middle lor! -_-''' I hope that things will get better... I hate a girl in my class, so thick skin. I love stacie, choo choo, aisyah and neetu.

2007-07-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

こにちわ　Diary,

みんな、こにちわ。わたしは、フミヨ　です。どぞ　よろしく　おねがいします。

This week quite stress as there are alot of projects to do. We are like rushing everything! はやく！Monday was boring... as there was only lectures. Tuesdays, I have にほんご　class! I love it alot, but a little confusing haha i hope i can cope... lolx. Wednesday was hrm lesson... so tired... then during EFMA I almost fall asleep through out the whole lesson. Thursday, a long long day. きょわ、was fun, talk alot and eat a lot haha! Overall rating for this week is fairly poor!

Next week would be worse as 2 project deadlines are due... T.T

I had just posted my lastest Character design on the right side of my blog do take a look haha! Do give comment.

P.S: I love my Friends! but they are falling apart. とうしょ！神さま　たすけて　くだせい！
I love my drawing! Hope i do well in my exams!

2007-07-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

HiHi Dairy Chan!
I am so happy and it has been long time since i posted anything. Erm... what should i talk about.... Ok! Let's talke about school! I got back my result for most of the ICAs which is also known as class test, I pass all of it.

Here are my results:
EFMA = 31/35 ( accounts, dunno the theory question so lost 4 marks )
Biz Finance = 25.5/30 ( something like accounts, cannot balance the account )
Biz Law = 34/50 ( something like history essay, not good at this kind of things )
Japanese = 37/40 ( Love Japanese alot! got 3 mistakes lolx )

I am so happy... hehe.... However, there was an oral test for japanese on tuesday which was 3 july. I was so scared lor... There are katakana in the sentence that i have to read lor... T.T I dunno alot of katakana... But nevermind i just force myself the read the whole sentence... At the begining it was so funny lor, the teacher as me a question --> Anatawa siti san desu ka? Then i ask her am I suppose to pretend that i am siti or just be myself. She laugh lor, she said that u ans as yourself not pretend to be siti... Lolx...T.T In the end, she say i not bad leh haha! She even say sayonara (bye bye) to me lor. So happy...

End of post for now lolx lazy me again...

P.S: I love my NYP Friends, dunno if they love me anot... I feel so doubtful... I love my drawings! I had just posted one of my latest drawing, do go and have a look. Going to start studying soon... Bye Bye

2007-06-19T18:47:00.001+08:00

Dairy san.....

Today, is wednesday but i am posting for tuesday's events. I am back from holidays! I miss Singapore alot! I miss my room, my anime merchadises, my drawings, my mangas, my dogs and my FRIENDS! However there are tons of project wait for me to do! Forget about that la. Lets talk about my holidays at Genting. I was sick leh! Down with fever! Arh! Actually i am suppose to go to Genting on Monday but cannot go leh. So in the end i went on tuesday. How did it happen, i lazy write, in short, my mom bought one way tickets for the coach to Genting. It was fun but i did not get to eat alot stuff cause i was sick! Dam it... I bought magazines! Cosmania! so nice AND CHEAP! It is like 1/3 of the price kuniokuniya is selling! I bought lip gloss also! So nice! Wow! But i never put it on my lips leh... sad right... maybe one day i will lor. I got to sleep 1 whole bed by myself cause i was sick! Haha, my sister got to share a queen size bed with my cousins. Lucky me!

There is nothing much to talk about, I feel so lazy, manage to finish just one project... starting on Biz Law tml... I am suppose to write out a script! How to write! Arh! Then still got the most frightening one which is EFMA! I really got NO idea wat to DO! another Arh! Lolx i am still playing maple -_-''' haha... I manage to post a new character design on my blog. She is suppose to be a fairy but i cannot position it wings so forget it la. I used only colour pencil... nice right. I like it, but the eyes... weird lor. Nvm la, I love it can liao... haha... i am posting another one soon! A full body pose... i feel that it is nice la. Should I colour it or not? I little lazy leh...haha got to see first leh. After that dunno wat to draw liao... anyone got idea? Or should I continue my (Cursed). See First la! Haha!

Ps: I love my drawings but i still wish i could draw better! Love myself and my Friends! I hate project! I hate efma and biz fin! Arh!!!!

Bye Bye
Sweet Dreams *kisses*

2007-06-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

* Note, everything on this blog is all based on personal feelings and thoughts. I am just sharing it and if anyone feel or felt offended, I would like to say Sorry.

Hi hi ^v^ watashi no dairy!

It has been a long time since i have posted anything. I feel so lazy recently. However i cannot let my laziness get the better of me. I must work hard.... 'say only la' I am still so lazy and fat... I want to have a boyfriend... but i feel that i dun deserve one at all cos i have not confidence. I am fat, boyish, hate makeup, ugly features... i think i got low self esteem... but i would like someone to love me leh... I want someone who is tall enough so i can like tip-toe to kiss him or he bend down to kiss me... SO SWEET! but i am like 170 cm tall, sometimes i feel that i am too tall... cos the guys in my class is about my height or just a little taller. I want a boyfriend who is about 180cm tall. I wish .... wishing .... the wish is so blah...

In additional, the answer to my blog nick... haha i shall reveal the answer to my friends and dairy... It was on thrusday, the time was around 3.00 my friend and i decided to skip lesson. So we tapped and sat outside of class. Then came along this guy 'ken' ( not his real name ) and 'tiff'( also not her real name ). Ken said he wanted to skip the lesson also, so he went to tap his card and tiff followed him. Both of them skipped lesson, come to school together and go home together, WOW! such love birds... Then ken came and sat with us well tiff when to toilet. My friend and i talk to ken about tiff and him are lovers and stuff but ken was like denining everything. I was like ' ARE U SURE ' in an angry but joking tone. So we were just laughing in the end lor. Then tiff came back. Ken said that the enviroment is hot and he could not take the heat, he wanted to go to air-con room. The stood up and informed us saying that he is hot and he will be going to a air-con room. I just replied him. ' GO LA! GO LA! I DUN WANT TO GO! GO! GO! GO! ' LOLx he somehow smiled lor cos he know i did not meant to speak it in this way. Suddenly a sentence came flying out of that (idoit) tiff's mouth ' No one asked you to go ' At that moment, i wasn't angry, maybe i am not sensetive with words lor lolx... It took me a while to notice it. I was so dam it pissed of lor. I was like talking to ken not tiff lor. Dam it la. I was SO DAM IT PISSED OFF! But nevermind, wat for be so angry over such a ( ********* ) girl! I am so tired liao... I want to sleep...

Friday was a long day... i went to school for biz fin, i did not get anything the teacher was teaching lor lolx. After that, was presentation, so scary! Ah!!!! But when it was my turn, i was calmed down by something i dunno wat... My heart was not beating so fast... i was not nervous... <--- 'action only' But my hands were cold, lolx. When i was presenting, i did not look at my que cards that often... when i was at the last slide, i wanted to refer to my que cards but i forgot that i did not flip my que cards when i was presenting. Basically, when i am presenting, my que cards was still on the first slide's contents... I was like 'shit' I quickly take a peek at the slide on the screen and get a picture of it... Lucky for me. Everything when smoothly lor. Presentation ended at 1pm then i decided to skip EFMA = accountings. I went out with my friend. We decide to meet at YCK mrt. She told me she was approcahing YCK when i stepped into the train, i gaze around be cannot find her. My phone rang and it was my friend telling me she alighted at YCK... -_-''' So in the end i was on the train she went out of the train... Lolx. When we finally met on the train, i was shocked but her dressing... she reminds me of Ange someone from my year one class. I was like omg! Ah! I wanted to tell her that she have changed alot, but did not. Cos i told myself that everyone will change lor and why can't she change? STUIPD ME! I bought my 'Animage' a jap anime magazine for $13 cos i used my friend's kinokuniya discount card! So cheap! Muahahaha! Then we went to eat Long John Silver. In the end, before we went back, we bought japaneses pancakes. I bought a cheese and a red bean one plus a cream puff. In the end, i did not ate any of those because the ant visited all of them... So sad especially the cream puff! T.T I want to eat those! I want T.T

Thanks for reading. ^v^

PS! = I love my friends, stacie, aisyah, neetu and minchoo. Love u guys! I would like to say if u are nice to me i will be nicer to you! If u are rude to me i will give u 'that' face! Warning...

* Note, everything on this blog is all based on personal feelings and thoughts. I am just sharing it and if anyone feel or felt offended, I would like to say Sorry.

2007-05-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

* Note, everything on this blog is all based on personal feelings and thoughts. I am just sharing it and if anyone feel or felt offended, I would like to say Sorry.

Dear Dairy,

Today is 18th May, not my birthday tho but it is somehow an eventful and a problematic day... Why eventful yet problematic. I did not have a nice night which means i did not slept well. I was stuck between wanting and unwilling. Very confuse right, how can someone be unwilling to do something yet wanting to do something? I was like telling myself should i go or not? On the other hand i was preparing for my presentation today. Going to school and stuff.

Firstly, let's talk about school (NYP) the lecture on biz finance was so dam it boring and the teacher was like rushing lor. Omg! I hate it when they rush through things lor and why can't the school give 2hrs lect instead of 1hr? I think it is killing the teacher and us lor... I rather sit in there and listen for 2 hrs getting a clearer picture instead of just sitting for 1hr and not getting anything... That lect was ok. Followed by the presentation, I was so excited! WOW! I kinda like presentation cos Stacie had taught me how to speak in a proper way and i am very grateful for what she had taught me. When i was presenting, in my mind, i picture myself speak with Stacie sitting at the back of the class looking at me, doing my best in what she had taught me. Although, i knew i spoke too fast and i held my cue cards to high but i can feel the satisfaction after everything ended. I could picture the Stacie smiling back at me, saying ' Believe that u can do it ' something like that. I will try my best! I want to be comfortable with public speaking. I BELIEVE I can if i want to change! I was so happy throughout the whole lunch break until the BORING lesson struck at 2:00 pm. It was EFMA! in another words, accounting.... the teacher is so blur and boring.... I wanted to sleep but i kept myself awake by drawing lolx! After all that, the problematic problem jolted into my mind.

You maybe wondering wat kind of problematic problems i have faced? The story started on Wednesday night, when i was using my pc, when someone PM me on MSN. I thought ' Maybe it was my NYP friends '. I clicked the 'popped' up sign and to my surprise it was Azimah / Ai hana. I was like 'huh, why did she PM me?' She asked me if i can help her on Friday. I was like har.....? She wanted me the help her to help our secondary form teacher Miss Lee. When? What time? How long? At Teck Whye Secondary, 8 am to 9 am! Teach wat? I was asked to help Azimah help Miss Lee to assist the students in learning how to 'show not tell' when writing compositions. Actually i was think i should go to save the friendship between azimah and me. Maybe it was heaven's way of saying 'ur friendship is fated and dun break it' A chance to recover this friendship. I was like i want to go but it is so early and so far. I live at sembawang leh. That was not an issue cos Miss lee was paying the taxi fee. However, i was shocked my the walking distance that i have to take from Teck Whye Sec to CCK MRT Station! It is not just far, it is way TOO far. Moreover i have lesson at 11 and i cannot miss it cos i dun understand that topic. T.T so sad lor....

On Wednesday, i was like maybe i can make it and Azimah told me that she is meeting Suh at coffee bean at around 4pm. She ask me wat time my lesson end? and hinted that i should go to coffee bean. So after lesson, i went to coffee bean and on my way there, i was daydreaming in the train... I felt uneasy, awkward and i could feel my heart hitting against my ribs. Why ? I dunno, maybe cos i fight with her over alot of stuff. At the moment of daydreaming, i did not felt like going to help her today... After alighting the train, i stroll towards coffee bean with every step i took, i could feel my heart pounding 10 times faster. Maybe i would die of heart attack before reaching coffee bean. However, i told myself, calm down and take in big breathe and face her. So i stepped into coffee bean, i looked around and found her siting by herself, I approach her 'cooly' i think.... for about 30 mins, azimah, suh and i were talking and talking, i could not make my eyes meet hers for more 10 seconds. I was just stare suh most of the time, I did not talk much and i think i barely looked at her for more then five times. Awkward? Guilty? Shy? I think it would be awkward. For all those words of anger we had exchanged for the pass few months, won't u feel awkward? I won't feel guilty cos the fight we had, we are both victims and i cannot believe she can be so happy and she was pratically smiling like nothing has happend. I had said the ' impressions will alway be there, no matter wat reason and actions given, can never cover that impression.' I believe wat said cos i feel it.

Through out the conversation, i was like 'ok, ok, anything'. Suddenly, at the corner of my eye, a picture drew my attention, a small sketch book was on top of it so i slowly reached out and lifted up the sketch book. It was a drawing drew by Azimah, it was so nice compared to mine, all i can do is shook my head. 'I thought i had improved but i did not, i tried my very best to improve and to draw better than her but i just can't, I JUST CAN'T!' I tried to comfort myself saying, 'She is in art school mah, it is normal for her to draw better than me, like duh!' Then, I took the wrong step and took out my Japanese notes for them to see, then when Azimah got hold of the notes she was like reading it like a pro lor. Then, she say 'I already know all this things'. At that time, i could feel the moment of silence and suddenly a dagger peirced through my heart!' I can never be better than her, i can NEVER be better than her. Maybe i should stop all this stuipd things. It is so childish lor. But the feeling of being unable to do something make me feel bad. And i know that guys know how i feel, especially middle- aged guys with lots of stress, and being unable to do something makes one feel so bad. I was so demoralized at the moment, i felt so tired. ' Maybe i should stop, stop drawing and learning japanese.

So in the end, I did not went to help her. The night before, i smsed azimah and hinted her. Moreover, i dun really like my secondary school form teacher Miss lee. Why? cos she only favour those student who did well in her subject. I was one of those who was bad in her subject. Moreover, she is so proud of herself. She once told my mother that if i dun improve or put up my socks, i will not make it through 'N' Levels. In the end i made it and i score well. For 'O' Levels, she was like giving tution lessons for those students who are bad in english, and i wasn't in her list even though my english was bad. Her reason, cos i had a tution teacher at home. I was like, ok fine. She loves to predict results, and i believed that she was so shocked when the 'O' level results were out. Her prediction was wrong for some parts. My humannities, was like A2 lor and compare to my class result and prelims, which is like just pass or fail. Maybe i was just lucky, but i felt happy for myself. Before the 'O' levels, I was rushing my D&T and i skipped her history make-up lesson. She was like scolding me lor, pointing her index finger right in my face and scolded me. When my 'O' levels result were out, I scored and i did not attend her history lessons, this shows wat? I am lucky? or something else? She is nice sometimes but i just dun really like her. My mother also dun like her. lolx. So in the end i decided not to go cos i dun want to see her and i felt awkward being with azimah.

I lazy to write on liao. * Note, everything on this blog is all based on personal feelings and thoughts. I am just sharing it and if anyone feel or felt offended, I would like to say Sorry.

PS! = I love my NYP friends especially Stacie cos she really helped me alot! =)

2007-05-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

Dear dariy,

During this weekend, I am quite busy, yet memories of the past do pop up in my mind. Its like good memories, sometimes bad but it is only a fragement that seem to appear. I was eating dinner at Sakae Sushi just now and while queeuing up to wait for seats, my eyes were drawn by a particular seat. At that moment, my mind told me 'Hey that is the seat u have sat with her for lunch, and u have ate so many things compared to her.' The images of eating lunch at Sakae Sushi with her just played in my mind like short clip. I felt so happy and i could see a smile on my face. Thinking of the word ' Sakae Sushi' seems to trigger the thought of having lunch with her and my cousins. Mostly happy thoughts cos only thought of 'her' apppeared in my mind.

After lunch, we had Yami Yogurt, so delicious! When I scoped up a spoonful of yogurt, placed in my mouth, and tasted it. It instantly trigger off the thought of having the same kind of yogurt with 'her'. I still remember why we got to share the tub of yogurt, cos my aunty bought it for me. When sharing with 'her', i can still remember that sometimes, when she was eating, the phone rang and she would start talk on the phone with a client. While 'she' was talking on the phone, i stared at her spoon cos there was a lipstick mark on it. 'EEEEE' lolx. I feel so DAM happy when 'she' is talking to me, or even just beside me. I kinda miss 'her'. DO NOTE! I am not a lesbian. But i dun really like guys. lolx. Maybe i am a lesbain, but i cannot picture myself kiss or holding hands with another girl.

Maybe the kind of feeling i have, when 'she' is around me, seems to be missing from my mother. Maybe i need motherlyhood something like that. Or i just need someone who will love me, talk to me nicely and be nice to me. But dun trust guys, cos in life, man are like beast! I just dun trust man / guys / boys that much. Dunno why. Just got that feeling lor.

It is getting late, now is like 12:45 AM. Later got school lolx. Oyasumi Nasai.

P.S: I think no one is reading so lazy to write any PS... lolx

2007-05-09T18:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy,
School is tough, I am so sian, very day just wake up, go to school, eat, study, home, bath, eat, watch tv, do hw and use the laptop. So boring lor, I wish i can strike lottery to buy a Nintendo DS lite. I really need the money! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! Arh i want money!!!!! Anyone can sponser me? I will pay back... I nead 350.... I need money T.T i want to buy Nintendo DS lite. The reason.... it is cos when i was 12, my uncle bought me a gameboy colour cos i manage to do well in my exams. I was so happy till that day, that day which everything happened! The day when my mother took the Gameboy colour over from me T.T From that day onwards, i did not have full excess to my beloved Gameboy colour. I mother played every night, she played supermario until she managed to complete the game! SO MANY TIMES! So happy for her but sad for me... I want to buy a Nintendo DS lite that is my dream!
Right now saving eat lesser... very difficult.. cannot eat when ever i like to...T.T I am hungry as i am typing this post... I want Nintendo DS lite!

P.S = Need money, Love my group of friends and School is tough. Save me!

2007-05-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

Dear dairy,
This past few days have been a rough journey for me but i think i am the only one suffering, I had been sending emails to my (ex-)best friend, the words and emo putted into those email could be seen clearly. Everything is so clear cut... I dunno wat to say. I am self pitying myself T.T... I am not committed in getting things done, I am just whining, complaining and stuff, put my msn nick as 'Visit My blog at www.atashiyume.blogspot.com *Updated on 24/4/07 -- take a look at my drawings!' <--- is there any essence of force? Do u feel that i am forcing to come to my blog?! I am pestering u? I am just putting it as my nick cos i believe no one would ever come to my blog at all. I am not popular, nor am i good around with friends. I am so self centered. Lolx I just want attention, someone whom would comment on my drawings and say ' WOW! So nice! ' I want attention not totally for myself, partly for my drawings. It is just that someone out there do not understand, she say i am forcing my NYP friends to love anime!? I feel that 'bam' knock in the face.

Force?! I was like did i force u to read my blog, i did not put a knife or dagger on ur throat and say ' TAG ON MY BLOG! FASTER! TAG NICE WORDS! ' <-- This would be force... ain't i right? Since when i force anyone in my class to love anime, i just draw in class sometimes i would like ' Nah! See my drawing! ' I did that to my close friend at NYP cos she is nice and understanding. My other classmate would say ' Can let me see?' I just pass it to them and let them see. I am so happy when ppl comment on my drawing. Something it is bad comment but i agree with them and joke with them saying ' dun comment la u also cannot draw as well as me ' We were like laughing. Note to the someone out there! I dun force ppl to love anime! And i dun believe that u can have a group of friend who have different interest! Try have friends who love to play Maple story! Trying having friends who love to watch the news! Trying having friends who dun like wat u like. I am telling u, u will slowly lose touch with them, cos it is very difficult to start a conversation when they are totally in a different topic with u.

Having friends who have the same interest as u, would be nicer, it would be like 'WOW! U watch this!' 'Me too!' 'HI 5' 'Do u know this character ...' Then there is chemistry, interact and laugh within the group of ppl. That is why poly life and like groups. We have same interest, we stay together. We love to talk be stick to together, and talk about general thing. We love makeup, we stick together, and be girly girls. We are boys and we stick together! I want friends that i can talk about anime, manga, games and stuff related. Currently, i am with a group of friends and we just talk about general stuff like boys and teacher....etc but we cannot zoom in and talk about personal interest, cos it maybe boring to the rest. So (_ _ _) <--- u know who u are, dun give me any of ur advise if u have not try it out yet, cos i did and i dun think u had...

P.S : Love my NYP friends not classmate or ex-classmates. The group that is with me right now. Love u guys. (I clearly means friendship love ^v^)

2007-04-24T16:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy / blog,

It has being a long long time since i posted the last post.... lolx. I have being lagging for about 2 months or so and school life is going to start soon. I feel like going to school but i am afraid that i may not make it. I mean that i may fail my exams and have to redo it again. I hate sub paper alot. Thus i think i will try my best to strive for better results.... lolx.... I have to change my attitude towards my homework! I must do my homework.... har..... i hate doing homework leh...

Lets not talk about school, I have been working on a piece of drawing for the past few days... So long and tired T.T... Final i had finished and posted on my blog. Isn't is nice dear blog.... This is the first time i use colour pencil to finish my drawings... but the background is in pencil.... i cannot tone the back ground using colour pencil and i dun have water colour.... lolx. To me the drawing is very nice and graceful... Next, i have also posted some drawings, some in pencil, some in pen, some in nothing.... u maybe asking wat do u mean by in nothing... how can u draw with no pencil, pen etc. My answer is using 2 different coloured paper, a pair of scissors and glue... I am so smart lolx. But i burn the midnight oil just cutting one of those drawings... lolx

Actually i promise u that i will post some pictures of my room... but i am so lazy to clean up leh... So did not lor... Maybe one day or some day i will do it... lolx LAZY GIRL!!! One last thing, one Sunday 22/4, i was watching America's Next Top Model... I was so surprised by the characters in the series... I love AJ I hate Monique (hope i spell it correctly) And Melrose is like a prostitute, i mean the way she walks and bitches around.... I feel some one in my BJ class shares the same character as Monique and there is also other classmate who has about the same character as Melrose... There are also quarrels that happened between monique and melrose happening in BJ class. Lolx. I hate Monique more than Melrose.... lolx. Amercia's Next Top Model, shows me that there are such people in this world and i can't believe that she (monique) has a mother. I wonder how the mother teaches her daughter... Lolx

*P.S: All above contents are just personal comments... no offence... lolx.

2007-04-04T14:09:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today is 4th of April = 04/04/07. Actually today i am suppose to post some pictures of my room for u to see but i lazy to tidy up my room and taking pictures is alot of troubles. So now i think i just talk about my holidays briefly, firstly, chores everyday, washing the dishes, empty the dustbin, doing the laundry (which i am doing it right now at 2.27 pm)So sian right... but after all this, i can use the pc, play games and watch TV! Normally, I would watch Animal Planet, National Geographic, Dinsey Channel, Channel 55 and many more. Sometimes, I will play with my dogs, i have 7 of them maybe one day i will post the picture of them for u to see. Eating and sleeping is also wat i do everyday, like duh?! I hate to bathe so boring and just lazy la. But i still bathe once everyday or 24hrs. Safe water and time mah! Hehe.... I wish school can reopen soon... at home every bored.

Enough of my life... Let's talk about Maple Story's latest event! The attack of the Crimson Barlog! It happened at 1st April, a sunday. Placing my character at frontline, I managed to get scopes of stories from players. I personally went to the event to take a look at the release of the FATAL Crimson Barlog! My lvl was 21 at the moment. I was a noob that do not have a chance fighting the monster! Not even 0.000000000000000000000000000~00001 probiliabitly of even getting a single damage on the monster. I ran and ran for my life and pictures! There was a moment when i ran and ran then Crimson Barlog appear behind me 1 by 1 as i ran. If i did not ran faster at them moment, i think i would end up died! Lucky me. Through out the whole event, Barlogs are defeated by players that have higher lvl. Some player just ran and ran and died. It was like a Graveyard! My player died 2 to 3 times. But i still risk it to take nice pictures as a proof to what i said just now. ' It was like a Graveyard.'

Here are the Pictures... (the event is only at Kerning so it is not fair!)

Click to see

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2007-04-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

Good Evening Beloved Diary,

Yesterday which was the last day of March, I went out to do some 'MUST DO!' shopping. Firstly, I reached Anime House at around 2pm or earlier. I was walking towards my destination in a red, 3/4 sleeve, 'v' neck T-shirt and a pair of jeans. The blazing sun was radiating tremendous amount of heat onto my body. As my body temperature started to rise, I started to sweat alot. Beads of sweat rolled down from my forehead and the back of my T-shirt was wet. I told myself ' I have to walk faster to my destination where there is air-con!' Rushing, Walking, Sweating, finally i have reached the Anime house! I felt all so relaxed as i stepped into the shopping center, 'Air-con, Air-con ...!' However, I was still sweating, when i was buying my items, beads of sweat was like rolling down my cheeks. Oh my god! I am so sticky! EEEEE.... Lolx. In the end, I finally got my items! Yahoo! Hoorray for me!

Here are some picture of those items that i bought at the Anime house:

Click to see
Click to see

After buying those items, I still got to walk all the way back to the MRT Station. Sweating, Walking, Sweating, Walking, Reached! I took the train back to orchard. Then I was wondering where should i stop? Somerset or Orchard? I wanted to go to HMV to look at the New! Mika Nikashima's Album and go to rapid culture to look at figurines. Then i should stop at somerset. But I want to go Kinokuniya, so i should stop at orchard. In the end, orchard was the stop i alighted. I went Kinokuniya, it does bring back some memories. I dunno if those are sweet or bad ones. Lolx. I browsed through the shelves, looking at mangas from Japan and some New Releases (manga) I went to pick up the April issue of Newtype (Japanese) which has the cover of CODE GEASS! I like CODE GEASS cos it is cool! But i dun love it cos it is very 'clamp-y'. In other words, i dun really like clamp's drawings, the hands, legs and body are very long!

This is the picture of the magazine i got:

Click to see

In total, I spent about 30+ dollars today, SO MUCH! But those things are a must for a people who do not work, me! Hahas i MUST SAVE! NOT SPEND! I dun think i would be going out for this month any more! T.T But i am fine with it! Hehe. Should i go bowling? But no friends leh... bowl by myself very weird... Lolx. Bye Bye my beloved diary. Love u lots. ( Bye bye to any readers out there, if there are readers....T.T)

2007-03-22T23:39:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy,

I have decide to type something today. Tonight, after many times of thinking and analysing, I found out that i am still searching for a Friend who is trustworthy enough for me... I am still in search of this special someone... Still searching. I was told that friends are just partners, people whom i can talk to, people whom are just there for accompanying me. When i am in deep trouble, non these friends will help me, especial when comes to problems that require money. Sometimes when friends get into arguments, one will push all the blame to another. Sometimes even use their sisters, brothers and friends' names to make it look as tho they are standing on their side. As long as they think that there are SO many names in their 'supporting list', 'I win!' Sometimes, friends will push the blame to each other by making thing look ugly, sound disguising and make people say these words 'oh so sad...', ' oh u are bullied...' and 'OH! I WILL HELP U, TO KILL THAT BULLY' or something like that. With friends, all this commotions will start to erupt. But YOU may say that i am just one sided... SO WHAT! I am talking about my life... THIS IS MY BLOG, isn't it right dear dairy?

I had been told that secondary friends are the closest group of people i would have. I see my poly friends, they always say how good their secondary friends are and they are always going out for lunch, gathering, chalets, movies ... etc. To a certain extend, i agree to what i was being told and what i could see. However, i dun see this in my life. And now u would say ' Oh Man! u are pushing the blame to someone else! ' My answer is ' NO I AM NOT! ' I am just portraying my life in words, my thoughts in words and my experience in words. Sometimes, i think that having no friends is better than having friends. First of all, friends are difficult, to understand, to be with, to ask for a favour and to hold hand in hand regardless of where they are. I am tired of this life, having to do so many things just to get friends. I mean SO WHAT if i have friends?! They won't help me, won't teach me, just acting as if they do not know anything but in actual fact they do! People are selfish, even if they are ur friends, the fact is that THEY ARE HUMANS! Most humans are selfish! (*note: i never say 'all' or 'every' people)When humans grown older, this kind of selfishness will turn to a series cunning acts. These cunning acts are what u see in the real world. Sometimes, friends can mature faster and become more cunning. Thus resulting in backstabbing, blackmailing, betrayal and many more. I have seen and experienced this kind things but it is all over. WE HAVE TO BE STRONGER!

Sometimes, friends cares about each other. ' Oh my u got hit by a car, are u hurt?' or ' oh my, why did u cut ur self?' All these things ARE JUST WORDS OF PITY! (<--- negative) I ' care ' for u. My S**t! Base on my personal experience, which i created by myself, (isn't it cool)I have managed to turn this kind of 'oh i care for' pity words, into a ' oh u manipulate my care for you'. This change just happened due to a few catalyst that i created use words, drawing skills and a pinch of smartness and within a few days, it happened! MUAHAHA... (<--- mad girl ahead). Friends cannot be there for a very long time. It is like the lilies on a down stream river, the current will bring u ( lily ) to meet other friends (other lilies) and it can also separate u and ur friends. In other words, this downstream river is call the river of time. Time will change things. That is what i believe.

But as for now, i LOVE MY FRIENDS! ALOT. I still miss talking to some of my ex friends and old friends. It has been quite a long time since the last time i see them. hehe... I am still searching for a friend, one that i can believe and trust and one that can do me A FAVOUR! Thats is all. Good Nite! My dear dairy, love u too!

PS: Dunno take it to personally especial my class mates! I love some of my classmates.

2007-03-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy,

My life is in a total mess, i think. No one can ever understand what i am thinking, and some people just either do not want to listen or just rebut me with their own way of thinking. Maybe that is what really friends are... I am not sure who is it that is true to me and who are not. Some times i seek attention, need people to notice me, need someone to go out with me. However, due to my character, i think i caused my own death. Or should i put it this way, I have dug my own GRAVE! lolx.

There are time when u want to got shopping but there is noone to go with u. U may feel bored and lonely, but for me, i have a weird character or u can say it as a weird way of thinking, i prefer going out lonely with my ' to buy ' list. Something, it may seem boring, but at least i get things done quick and go home fast. I am more of those home bounded person. I hate to go to far far places. I hate noisy places. I love places like my room, bathroom, maybe parks places that are quite and has very very little people. However, i never get to know other quite place, other than my home, as i am home bounded. I am always at home even since i had memory. I was not allow to go out, not even to my friends house, unless i am doing project. I am being watched over by my mother. It is something which most people would say 'overprotecting'. Some may say, that there is nothing wrong to it, as ur mother would never want to harm u or ur mother is the one who gave birth to u and u must listen to her. I dun like these way of thinking. Sometimes, i am given the thought that if i kill her i will gain freedom!

So, due to this over protecting thingy, i dun like to go out to walk around, have drinks with friends, play at the beach. Because of this way of thinking, 'I dun feel like going out'. It 'cost' me my friends. U may say that i am pushing the blame. I admit it 'Yes, i am pushing the blame for my character to my mother' But the roots of the problem was created by her. At this age (19) i still have to ask her if i can go out with my friends. Most of the time, I just tell my friends i cannot go, as the way of thinking that my mother would say no, will start to build up in my mind or it would be the first thing that comes to my mind --- 'NO YOU CANNOT GO!' A very good example, my sister's teacher is having a wedding and my sister is working. Put urself in my sister's shoes, and you would say 'i want to got to my teachers wedding' (note: the teacher invited the whole class) But my mother reply was like this --> 'Face the reality, it is better for u to work than attend that wedding' It is Chinese, i just translate to English. U may say wedding is once in a life time and u may quit the job and insisted that u must go. But for us sisters, we cannot. We work because of her, we study because of her and i believe i am living my life because of her. Right now, at this age (19) i still cannot make decisions on my own. How pathetic! Even my cousin rebut me, ' Go and talk to her la' and stuff... But the first thing that come to my mind was, 'IT WILL NEVER EVER WORK!'

So sometimes i think my life is miserable, but that is not totally true, at least i have a house to live in, a personal bathroom, money, studies, laptop, air con. All these could just be luxuries to someone who is poor. I am somehow smack in the middle, who always complains about how bad my life is. And i believe at every point of life, everyone would do the same thing as me, complain and complain... hehe

Good night Dear Dairy, miss you...

2007-03-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy,
Today is a fun day, but i won't say fun filled day... Today i went to watch a movie with my mother and sister. The movie we just watched was, Primeval. It is a movie about a DAM HUGE crocodile eating people. The movie was nice, thrilling, scary and best of all disgustingly COOL! Why do I say 'disgustingly COOL'? Erm... it is because there is so many killing, biting, shooting and BLOOD! Blood is like so cool lor! Cool and nice! Muhahahaha! If anyone who wants to watch this movie, a word of advise DUN watch it urself! Even if u are a MAN. If you are a person who love worms, blood, dead people, guns and a whole lot of horror and excitement, you should watch it. The starting of the movie already have all those things i just mentioned, waiting for u to watch. Muhahahaha! It was so NICE! The worms.... The dead bodies.... HAHA! (Note: Those i just mention are spoilers) Lolx.

Rating this movie base on my personal point of view, it would be 7/10. Why 7? Firstly i dun think this story is EVEN REAL. Secondly, it some how contains more politics than the crocodile in action. The crocodile is to big to be real... The weirdest of all things is the end part. *Note spoilers ahead --- the crocodile in to movie and actually sniff the air when the victim is right in front of it. The sniffing action was like showing that the crocodile was fake lor.... The crocodile stop in front of the main characters and then opened its jaws and somehow roared... (that is the best word i can think of) Then it shut it jaws, lifted up its head and started to sniff the air like a dog lor. I was like har.... That part is very lame la. The movie is so typical lor and base on my point of view, it is like criticizing Steve Erwin and other naturalists lor. Cos in the movie, there is a croc specialist who wants to capture that HUGE crocodile alive. Then there is a hunter who says the crocodile must be killed. Then the fight went on about catching the crocodile and killing it... And in the end, the croc specialist died, cos got hit by a car. A CAR? U maybe asking why is it a CAR? Shouldn't it be the crocodile or something. If u have remember, earlier on, i mention something about politics. That is the clue, hehe.

Why 7? Why not lower? Cos i personally love these kind of bloody, thrilling and scary type of movie but i hate the sound effect... The starting of the movie is already so NICE! Disguising with blood and worms and decomposed bodies. Haha, watching it is like so cool. I am an idiot la. The thrilling part was all the night scences and strangely it seems, africa seems to rain alot. Every night it rains, and that is when the crocodile come out. Then there is the head slicing thing, just only one part la,and the head shooting thing comes together with the head slicing thing. The moive shows poiltics is because this poilitcs cause civil war, which indirectly fed the crocodile into a monster of the movie. What is the whole purpose of the movie i dunno. It maybe censorship that Africa had, that kills people so to shut their mouth. Or the huge crocodile is real. Or it could just be telling u not to be a reporter, and if ur (crazy) boss ask u to do something like that, QUIT ur job. But come to think of it, if the main character was to quit his job there won't be this moive call Primeval. Lolx! Thats is all for today, I love myself alot!

P.S: Weak hearted should not watch!

2007-03-05T11:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Dairy,
For the past few days, life is fun, sad, mad and relaxing. Exams are over, stress is more or less gone. Watching anime as time passed by. Loving anime as days passed by. Getting more idea for my story as weeks passed by. Putting on weight as every meal passed by. Life is somehow nice and fun, but what if all these just 'snap' and disappear. No more thoughts, no more actions, no more emotions, no more feelings, no more food, no more manga, no more anime, no more, everything... The existence of my life is no more. Where will i go? Everything is all gone, everything ends here, the point when my body falls to work anymore. My thoughts, my action, my emotions, my feeling, my food, my anime, my manga. All this will be gone. Or is it more of I will be gone, leaving things behind for others who are born to this world. The feeling of death is scary, and i mean REALLY SCARY. I even tried to comfort myself that there is such a thing a heaven where it is a place for relaxation, freedom and do nothing. Is this so? I wonder... will we go to heaven or hell after we die? What will happen then. Is heaven and hell the creations by our thought and desire? Our thoughts of a world after dead and our desire of not wanting to die. A hope that there will be a place for our thoughts to continue living on. Our unwillingness of letting go. We are chained to the unlimited wants that exist due to our thoughts. Are you willing to let go? I am not. I have alot of things to do. I dun wish to die and i cannot die so young. I am the one who cannot let got. I hope that if you get to read this, picture urself being removed from this world. Even if ur life is good or bad, think again do u want it to end.

2007-03-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Yohoo! Exams are over! And it is holidays! I am so happy! Hehe! Ok lets start with my story of the day! Should i post a story about my accounts exams?

I will just start with today. This morning i planned to wake up at 8am to study my macroeconomics. However i was so tired i dun feel like getting up lor... At around 9am, I force myself up to get my note and then toss myself onto my bed again. I tried to read my notes, with my right eye as my left eye refuse to open... Then about 15 to 20 mins i switch eyes. lolx! About 10am+ I just pick myself up and when to change lor. For breakfast i had like bread again! but this time with luncheon meat! So nice lor. Come to think of it, i feel like eating it right now! hehe! After that, i took taxi to school cos raining and I hate to get wet. So i stood outside waiting for a taxi. The one can and has a sign AMK. So lucky right! My school is also at Ang Mio Kio <--( i think it is spell like that). The driver was a malay i think by his name is chinese leh. Dunno lor.. then when he ask me where i want to go i told him NYP in the chinese slang. Then he reply me in english. I was like oh he is malay.... I think.

At school, i sat at the stairs trying to remember my stuff lor... remember ...remember...remember... then aisyah came hehe. We talk lor. Then i ask her 'Did u study the text book' She replied 'you look at my face do u think i study' her tone was like so funny lor... Then came April, she is so nice. Followed by Stacie, Neetu and Minchoo. During the exam, someone beside the person beside me was like sneezing and sniffing, something like breathing in hard to prevent the slime from following out of his nose. So disguising. Nevermind la. When i want to pass up my paper early, my friend rise up her hand so the teacher went to her, at the same time i also finished mine. So i also wanted to pass it to him. When i pass it to him, he was like look behind me cross the exam hall so he failed to look at me lor and i was like just in front of him... Pathetic. So i just forget it and start checking if i had miss anything... In the end, I went off early with STACIE. I was SO HAPPY!

After the exams, I went to anime house at bugis near Nanyang school of fine arts, bought magazine Animage inside got Rozen Maiden BIG poster. SO! NICE! so i bought it lor. hehe Along with a pencil board, shijitaki ( something like that )Then i went to kinokuniya at orchard to take a look and i bought another magazine Newtype (japanese) SO NICE! Bought is because the cover is negima?! Asuna is SO CUTE! Today, I spend a total of S$34! So much say! Arh! Luck i still got money hehe. I wanted to buy a music box from Rozen Maiden which cos like S$60. So expensive but is it VERY BEAUTIFUL! Arh I wish someone can buy it for my as a present... Lolx. Today is very eventful. I am so happy but i just dun like my mother keep nagging at me ' GO FIND JOB, GO FIND JOB, GO FIND JOB!' I wish she could just die lor! SICK sey! Mind me ok. I just dun like her even if she is my mother. If i get the chance to kill her while she is a sleep I WILL! OR may poison her! MUHAHA! I am just mad la lolx. I think that is all lor. Life is so boring when i talk about my mother. Sad lor...

2007-02-26T18:10:00.000+08:00

Today is Marketing Exams! Yohoo I had spend 2 days staying and i mean 2 full days! I started on saturday and ended today. It is horror i tell you! HORROR I SAY! I spend whole afternoons of both day studying and i just hope that it would pay off lor. I memorize like crap lor! Haiz... very scary leh. Nevermind just forget it la since it is all over liao lor... hehe! Today i am so sleepy cos the previous night i could not sleep well. I stop studying at 1am and went to sleep. I was so nervous that i start to recap when i am trying to sleep lor... T.T sad right! So this morning i woke up at 9am+ and start studying again lor. So tired now, lazy to study accounting lor. So just post this post to kill time... hehe.

Today I am suppose to wake up at like 8.30 am but very tired as i mention earlier. So i reluctantly wake myself up to study lor... T.T sad right! Then about 10.30 am i prepared everything and went down for breakfast. I had peanut butter bread... sian... nothing else to eat liao. My father was reading something in the living room so i asked him to bring me to school in a cute voice <-- (act cute ...eeeee), hehe. And he agreed. So i went to read the newspaper, you may think WOW! fumiyo read the newspaper, SO GOOD GIRL. The actual fact is i just see the pictures and read the horoscope in Straits times, chinese newspaper and TODAY. I love to read horoscopes ... hehe, so i can see wat is heading my way... At around 11pm, my father drove me to school. And i sat at one of the table to read my notes <-- (so boring right) I waited and waited and waited. Many groups of people walked passed me. Suddenly, i heard a familiar voice. It was neetu and gang. Stacie has arrived! I am so happy to see then. Then we move to front near to the enterance of the sports hall. I was talking happily with staice, neetu and minchoo, when suddenly, i was jolted by a sharp pat at the back. It was my friend aisyah! She is here too. Wow! I was so happy lor! Then Jannah came and the first thing i did when i saw her was, a hug! I love to hug jannah cos she is not too thin and not to fat. Most of all she is very nice and let me hug her. I am so happy!

Into the exam hall, I got my seat all mixed up haha! During the exams, i am somehow surrounded by germs! Vernice who is seated in front of my was coughing (with that really sick cough sound) And the other guy i dunno how to spell his name coughed once. Oh my god I am going to catch a flu or something. But nevermind la just continued to do my test lor. Everything went quiet well, i hope... Hehe i finish the paper the same time with Stacie and MinChoo! And neetu was the first one to finish. She is fast! The we walk to the MRT station together. That is about it, my life today! One more thing befor i sign off, I ate Sakae Sushi with my parents. Dunno why their mood today quiet good leh... HeHe. Bye Bye going to eat dinner now! Have a nice day And THANKS FOR READING MY POSTS!

2007-02-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of exams. ARH!!!!! I feel like killing myself *stab stab <-- nothing is in my hands... lolx. Today is the statistics paper! I cannot do the theory question! T.T cos i never read lor... But i hope my calculation are correct lor. I had my fingers crossed. It was an average paper la. I think... Today my life is so funny! But it started out to be a little weird lolx. At around 2.50 pm to 3.00pm, I was at the sembawang MRT waiting. Then i was like waiting cos the next train is 6 mins later. Then i saw this Yishun Sec student, he was fine, walking around and stuff... then sudden he walk passed me and started to SING! I was like HAR?! His voice was not even nice lor....-.-" Ok fine... he stopped and went to talk to his friend.

Then about a few mins passed and suddenly two boys was talking beside me about 2 meters away. I dunno WHAT THE HELL are they talking? cantonese (mind me if i spell wrong), thai, or something else? One guy talk like a girl sey! I was like oh my god!. Then they talk and talk... it is fine but they talk so fast! OH MY GOD like bees humming beside my ear. BUZZ BUZZ! I just stood there looking down at ppl crossing the road and stuff... Sudddenly, Wei Teck appeared! Oh my wat is he doing here? Then we talk and talk lor... to school. Then i went off to the sports hall by myself (*note: i have my exams at sports hall got air-con u know) There was so little ppl. I just sit at the stair lor...alone... Sad right...Then I study. Not long my PEM come, also known as my form teacher. She taught me another statistics topic last year. I wave and smiled at her and she said "all the best!" Then i just showed her a thumbs up. Then i looked at my thumbs up and think again why did i do that for?! I did not even study the theory part and i show her THUMBS UP! To me thumbs up mean i can do it! oh my god wat have i done! NVM i just continue memorizing ...

Next event was Dr Badri came. He is so cute lor.. pushing that cart where the test paper are. After him, the next group was the girly girly girls of our class. I do not really mix around with them cos i cannot be girly at all lor... lolx and being girly need hard work. For a lazy person like me cannot one la. Then i saw dila with them i just waved and smile at dila only lor cos the rest was like 'hey look at my nails or something like that' I dunno la. I waited and waited for my friends to come. The finally i decided to stood up and throw away my green tea that i bought. (Note: i bought it from north canteen and i was so stress that i kept searching for coin until the uncle was like ' enough liao enough liao $1 only' -_-") I peep into the gym room to look at the time. It is already 4pm and my friends are not here yet! I felt like going in liao but cannot so i continue waiting then my friends slowly came in one by one. I am so HAPPY! Especially when i see stacie and gang. Then jannah and i hugged her lor. Cos it will be the last few times liao lor... Now i feel like crying...

During the exams! Oh my, alot of theory question dunno how to do lor. I am fine with it, i think. I dunno la. Then one part i was like ok i will do question 8 & 9 cos choose 2 out of 3. Then, I do and do. When i reach question 9, only 30 mins left. I was like ok must do faster. I read the question and i have to plot an ogive graph. I was like ok use CF. Then i was like more than CF (cumulative frequency) wat value to write har use the lower class limit or upper class limit? i was like oh my god and the time is run out. That question was 10 marks and i was like sure i gamble or do question 10 instead? fine I will do question 10 cos the marks are more spread out but it is probability! NVM just do. So i manage to finish everything 10 mins before time. Lucky me lor...

Today is an eventful day. I am every happy lolx. hehe~! but a little unhappy. lolx always mix feeling. Sorry this post is not -CNY- HEHE I think tml bah.. bye bye~

2007-02-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

I have decided to post another episode of my life on my dear bog. <--(crap intro.. lolx) Tml is my stats theory exams! OH MY GOD! I wish that it would be easy! T.T I am not really good in stats theory how? Die liao. I just remember the formulas only, lolx... Will I die? I hope not… now I still confuse with the formula... wah! I hope someone is there to talk to my. No one is there. I dunno la, I heck care liao... just talk to my figures lor. They are nice at least they do not bite my or backstab me. Lolx! I am so sian and I hope I can do will tml! I pray! Oh god, pls bless me.

I have not being drawing lately cos no time, lazy dunno wat to draw, no point drawing lolx. I think the main cause is time. I am spending all my time on exams, no time to like draw lor. Then my brain is like focusing on the exams cannot think of anything to draw lor. Lastly, it is EXAMS time drawing does not help pull up my marks so no point drawing liao lor. I want to continue drawing leh! But cannot. I have to wait until next month.

I want to talk about CNY but it is too long, lets leave it to the next episode of my life... (crap again) Lolx… I got red pack money but have to give half of it to my mother T.T. So bad I want to kill her! <-- ('kill her' for more info wait for the future episode of my life) I now only got like a 100+ to spend! I want to buy Mika Nakashima's ablum -The end- (I think that is the title) Then I want to go buy animage, a Japanese anime magazine. I think that is all. Currently got nothing to buy leh. Any ideas wat I can buy?

I lazy to type liao la, stay tune to the next episode of my life Title -CNY-

2007-02-15T22:32:00.000+08:00

I am SO Happy... I think. I dunno whether i am happy or not leh. I am happy but not really happy. There is a rebellious feeling that is going to overthrow my happiness. Haiz, dun care la. I am happy cos I just got my blog DONE! YAHOO! I think... Is it worth being so happy? I doubt so... Nevermind, now i can ...erm.... do wat har? I also dunno. Why do i create this blog anyway? I think i very blur now leh! Dunno la. I think... i just type the thoughts and my 'YUME' (dreams) lor. I dream to be rich! MUAHAHAHA! <-- ( mad woman ) I am so scare... or is it lost. I dunno, either one of it I think. My examz are coming and i have not start studying. OH NO! I am so scare and i dunno where to start! I am lost! Am I lost or scare? Or is it because i am scare thats why i am lost? Or is it because i am lost thats why i am scare? Which one i dunno leh! Erm... nevermind I guess i will alway be this blur. So i am still HAPPY that this blog is up! HAHA lala~ I just hope that my thoughts and 'yume' dun not offend anyone, cos these are my thoughts and YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROM THINK MY WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!