Friday, April 11, 2008 ()
YOUR NAME @ 10:34 PM / comment (0)
Hi blog it has been a month. Now it is the end of TEP.
I will miss TEP, friends (at TEP other than Zhong huan...) I kinda like TEP, dun feel like going back to studies... But i have been quite "weak" for the past few weeks in TEP... Kept having flue and sore throat... I love the "work stress" at TEP.
I will miss Esther Ho alot! Oh My God... Love Love... Love to talk to her and to see her smile is enough to make my happy and all "high" the whole day!
Back to TEP... I have been quite tired doing SOOOOO~ many things for the past 18 weeks especially in the last 9 weeks! OMG i going to die... In BSU, life is not only tiring, it is terrifying,tedious and i would like to say kinda "cursed". Basically, We had to do data entry, and everyone should know that there will always be "human error". The data can never be 100% correct... So the more the teachers ask and demanded (e.g more charts and breakdowns) the more errors "popped" out. I am tired, I think in the whole of BSU team 2, the only one that knows most about the data would be me. It is not that i am boastful or what, it is like i have been hugging my laptop, hogging on the data and thumb drive, doing "OTs" at HOME! For goodness sake! What the hell am I doing? Is it for marks? Is it to "suck" up on teachers? Is it Responsibility? Is it a must doing thing? Can't i just let some else do it? Why must it be me? I think maybe I am a Virgo that is why... perfectionist... I want the data to be correct at least in my eyes! I am getting crazy...
In TEP, I had also found out that i kinda hate the whole world. OMG! WTF! I mean, i was not able to delegate the tasks out properly, no one wants to listen. People unwilling to do work. I mean dammit la, u people are killing me! Here I stabbing myself with the blunt edged data and there u sprinkle salt onto my wound... I am so unhappy and disappointed...
Yet we had happy moments, Laugh and laugh, but i just hate people who keep on KEEP ON say " I am fat, fat, fat" Do u know I can hear it... Dam it la I know u are fat but actually u are not, ur clothes are making u look fat, dammit... I just dun want to say much... Flumes Flumes Flumes.....!
BSU is a hard live, hard live, barely have time... And now do u think i should go back after my TEP ended... the data is not well cleaned... Do think i should go back to help them? I fear that there will be more errors... I am scared! Scared that there will be more work to do and OMG .... the more i think the more errors or should i say "untidy" work "popping" out again... What should i do! ARH!!!
Today, I had a bad day.. a VERY VERY BAD feeling, I dunno why... why on the last day i felt fear towards Jennifer Tan, our teacher - supervisor... A weird feeling... Was she too nice today? or too scary? I cannot differentiate... When she smiled at me a chill went down my spine... Am I myself today...? When i looked at her fear just arouse... Weird!
RAGE! ANGER! MAD! WEIRD! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHAT THE F**KING HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!
*If I offended anyone, I would like to say Sorry... but it is honest words from my heart!
PS: Need counselling!
Labels: Temper